Since none of us have a clue about what’s going on over on the other side, I can MAKE THINGS UP! With an imagination well fertilized with b.s., I have created a new business, therefore providing jobs for those so inclined… even if they are supernatural ones. You too can own your own Poltergeist Rental – Terrorize Family and Friends!
Tired of owning a dull-ass 7-11? Is the Dollar Store down these days? Taxi Cab Operation gettin’ a tad dangerous after that last stabbing? Move on to better, more profitable digs! Who wouldn’t want to rent a poltergeist? The profits are endless!
Uses for Poltergeists with specific Polter-Talents:
Stacking Poltergeists are great at organizing your home or office. Get you “Martha Stewart Certified” Polter today! You’ll never have to pick up the kids rooms again.
Need a decorator? Tired of your home looking the same day after day? Hire a Furniture Arranging Polter… At the very least you’ll have variety. Poltergeists are very creative furniture arrangers… Having an “upside-down” home is not only chic, but ART!
Polter of Mass Destruction. Need something completely trashed? Want to stir up trouble in the neighborhood? Or just want to make a complete mess of your life and the lives of others? Get yourself a Polter of Mass Destruction. Not advisable if you have precious family heirlooms or items on location that you might want to use later… Very useful for demolition of all sorts. In fact, “Extreme Home Makeover” is negotiating for the use of a Mass Destruction Poltergeist for next year’s series. Caution: You may need to rent an Exorcist as well.
Anyone interested call 1-800-RentAPolter
(Please don’t call that… you’ll wake up some sorry sod in Australia.)
AND NOW FOR ENTITIES-R-US, GQ Supermodel…
Peter Comerford! Yes, for those who may suspect, Peter is my brother. He bought his Entities shirt to impress at the gym WITHOUT my prompting! So, it’s not a nepotistic purchase… or is it? You too can have one! Better act soon! I’m closing in on changing the design… http://www.cafepress.com/EntitiesRUs
Pete Comerford - Entities-R-Us, GQ Supermodel!
And so for now… Eat Cookies, Hunt Ghosts, Rent a Poltergeist for Parties and Friends!
Tj
