About

Entities-R-Us is a “hi-tech” organization dedicated to paranormal detection, identification and get-rid-ification. Their ability to do the latter part of that statement is questionable. These guys attempt to prove the metaphysical by virtue of the physical through the earthly measure of science. This could be construed as trying to prove the cow by subjecting the stable surrounding it to rigorous scientific examination. That said, the Entities crew has collected quite a bit of evidence that suggest there IS something out there that could be the “smoking cow”, or in this case, a ghost.

Arno Alkaloid is the mastermind behind Entities-R-Us. This non-recovering In Search Of addict has harbored a hankering for the haunted as long as he could remember. Arno KNOWS there are ghosts out there and he is hell bent on proving it. He never discusses his first paranormal experience. It occurred when he was only nine and had something to do with a Ouija board he and his pal found in a dumpster… This resulted in a piquing of curiosity that sent Arno into local graveyards, abandon buildings and other reputed haunts to hunt for evidence of the afterlife amongst the dead.

Though Arno could never entice his original Ouija partner to join him, he managed to find a partner-in-crime at the local Radio Shack while out searching for the latest EMF detector. Merv Schwermble had just ended his career as the sound guy for the lesser-know 80s hair band, Frizz-O-Matic, that used to open for the band that used to open for Loudness. The love of all things technological brought these two unlikelies together.

Burnt out Merv proved to be a tech whiz and, therefore, a tremendous asset to the ghost hunter organization that was brewing in Arno’s brain. The time had arrived and Arno dutifully put up his life savings of $500 for the formation of Entities-R-Us, Ghost Hunters. Headquarters were established, cost-free, in the old backyard tree house built by Arno and his dad. With ghost hunting equipment procured at Goodwill for $145.35 and a VW Microbus bought off a retired “Dead-Head” for $200.00, they had enough money for gas to get to their first haunting. Entities-R-Us became and entity in and of itself.

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